The Painathlon combines the 10 toughest fitness runs in Perth on the same day linked up by cycling between them. In total there is 44.3km of running (much of it is up steep hills or on sand/dirt), 119km of road cycling and it culminates with climbing Jacobs Ladder, a flight of 300 steps up to Kings Park in the city, 10 times. The race starts at sunrise and the challenge is to finish by sunset, approximately 10.5 hours later.

It was on of my dafter ideas was to take part in the Painathlon as I have shown mixed emotions towards running and road cycling in the past. However something about this event really appealed to me. Whether it was the small friendly nature, the lack of road closures and complete choice of navigation for the cycle legs, the variety of the different run challenges or just the fact that it is completely nuts. In addition lots of friends said they would also do, although they were all distinctly absent on the start line at 0659 on Saturday morning.

Challenge 1 – Groyne Run (2.3km)

After an age of hanging about in the cold, dawn finally broke and we were off. The soft uneven sand is a right bugger to run on but at least it was flat.

I didn’t bother to swap my shoes over for the first few short transitions. No sooner had I hopped on the bike than the gears started to skip which was surprising as everything had been fine on the ride down to the beach.

Challenge 2 – Reabold Bolt (4.7km)

A nice steady climb on mercifully smooth tarmac after the horrors of the beach. We did this one twice so a social run saying hello to everyone on the way and up and way back down again. Twice.

Challenge 3 – Cardiac Hill (2.8km)

Another short cycle tantalising past my house and then run up the grassy Cardiac Hill to the top of the DNA Tower for stamp 3.

Challenge 4 – Mount Pain (1.6km)

Perth’s steepest road three times was always going to pinch a bit. With most of the field still fairly bunched up, the multiple reps and a reasonable crowd of well wishers there was no chance to stop and rest.

Last short cycle; Spring St was closed so I headed on down the Terrace jumping a few lights. Fortunately Perth CBD is deserted on a weekend so this was not an issue.

Challenge 5 – Bridges Run (9.7km)

Finishing the Bridges Run

The Bridges Run is the longest of the challenges. Initially I had been dreading it but a successful run through with Phil and some longer runs to work had buoyed my confidence. Ok, so I wasn’t fast but only a couple of guys overtook me early on and I kept trucking all the way round, although I failed to produce a smile for the photographer on the causeway.

Lost in transition

Finally I got my bike shoes on and started the 30km ride out to the bottom of the Perth Hills. I was looking forward to this ride and hoped to do it very quickly without too much energy used what with being better at cycling and on Cameron's bike which pretty much pedals itself. Unfortunately there was a very strong easterly wind gusting to 40km/hr which combined with the clunking gears just about stopped me. At a set of traffic lights I had a quick look at the gears and noticed a scratch on the rear mech. The bike must have got knocked over in the strong winds whilst I was running the first leg and the derailler hanger bent. At least I knew what the problem was even if there was very little that I could do about it.

Setting off for the Truth

Challenge 6 – The Truth (9.2km)

Eventually I arrived at The Truth. This is the centre piece of the event being a tough and unrelenting road climb that everyone fears. Unfortunately I was exhausted from the cycle. Maybe I had pushed a bit too hard into the wind thinking that I needed to be going faster.

You couldn't really see the top but I had heard a few descriptions of the climb. The lead guy was just finishing and he said it was very long. Initially all I could do was walk quickly as it was too steep and I was too knackered to run. The views were lovely so I just tried to enjoy that. After a while I felt a bit better and started to run some of the lesser slopes and (very) occasional flat bits. The guys ahead of me coming back down were offering loads of encouragement and eventually I made it to the top. This felt great as it pretty much marked the halfway point of the whole race and I knew I had done the hardest climb. I ran pretty quickly (for me) all the way back down to the bikes trying to offer encouragement to the people coming up behind me.

At the bikes I re-filled my water bottles and sorted out all my food for the next 34km cycle. This cycle leg was a bit easier as it was pretty much due south so across the wind. The road zig zagged a bit so some bits had a tail wind and others the killer head wind again. The last 1.1km of the ride were uphill to the next car park at Bickley reservoir. The training advice that we had been given told us to spin our gears as we approached the end of the cycle legs but this hadn't really been possible yet with the final hills and wind.

Challenges 7 and 8 – Quadcruncher and Valley Run (5km)

So I donned my running shoes once more and stumbled off in search of the Quadcruncher. These were the challenges that I knew the least about. Short, steep and rough I had been told. After a stream crossing the trail went up. Vertically up. 10 minutes of scrambling, sweating and swearing saw me at the top of the Quadcruncher. It was then a straight forward down and up across the valley to checkpoint 8 before retracing my steps back to the bike.

Now I could really fly; all downhill, well as much as you get in Perth, and with a definite tailwind back to the city. The only downside was the busy roads, all the traffic lights seemed to be on red and the 2 cars had a go at killing me. Nonetheless I arrived at Canning Bridge to a cheering crowd in next to no time.

Challenge 9 – Painultimate (7km)

Okay so if I said that I dreaded the Bridges run it was really this challenge, the Canning-Mount Henry bridges loop, that I really feared. Despite being slightly shorter it was so late in the day with tired sore legs.

By now I was pretty certain that I was going to finish which cheered me hugely. The super friendly marshal also told me I was well inside the top 20 and wished me luck. None of this really seemed to help and this was 40 minutes of shuffling that had to be endured. The temptation to walk was never that strong as it just meant I would be on the course longer.

Eventually it was done and I hopped back onto the bike and blasted into the city and the big finale.

Challenge 10 – Jacobs (>3000 steps)

Before I got to Jacobs there was the small matter of Mount Street to be cycled up. Phil was proud that he hadn’t wobbled up there on his one man Painathlon and had challenged me to do so as well. Selecting a low (and working) gear early I employed a zig zag strategy and stormed to the top with only a lone marshal and no photographer as witness.

So for one final time (maybe ever) I donned my running shoes and joined the pained faces on Jacobs Ladder. The giant set of steps was as congested as ever with tourists, local runners and Painathletes getting in each others way. I settled into a rhythm of jogging down the steps and walking back up, trying to use the handrail as much as possible. Soon the steps became even busier as more competitors arrived. I was surprised that so many were so close behind me but I soon ascertained that they hadn’t completed the whole course. This was a real boost as these were guys who looked strong and fast at the start.

At some point I worked out that the next person in front of me overall was only 1 lap of Jacobs ahead and he looked like he was really hurting. I steadily closed the gap and was feeling good with 2 laps to go so I started running the stairs 2 at a time. I caught him just as we finished our 9th rep and as he stopped for a quick drink I got ahead. Whilst I was only really racing the clock and had easily achieved my challenge of completing everything my petty competitive spirit had kicked in, although it did give me added motivation near the end.

Finishing the 10th rep of Jacobs in Pain

I stormed up my 10th and final climb and it felt great to punch the last square on the control card before jogging round the corner to the finish.

Stamping the control card for the last time

The final results and times are not yet out but I finished at 1703, giving a total time of 10 hours and 4 minutes. Best of all I had a fantastic day. With the slight exceptions of the cycle into the wind out to Brigadoon and maybe a bit of the Painultimate I enjoyed every minute of it. The accomplishment was all the more satisfying as I put possibly more training and definitely more preparation into this event than anything since my Land’s End John O’Groats ride in 2004, with there being a much greater likelihood of me failing to finish the Painathlon as it involved running and has such a tough cut off time.